Lehigh University Athletics
Fulfilling Mom's legacy
1/16/2009 12:00:00 AM | Women's Basketball
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Of The Morning Call
Courtney Molinaro was trying to catch some extra Zs. She wanted to be ready for the team's double sessions the following day, Saturday, Oct. 18, 2008.
When her dad called her around 10:30 the night before, Molinaro figured he just wanted to chat, and decided to let the call go to her voice mail.
''He called again immediately,'' the
Jim Molinaro, Courtney's dad, said her mom, Denise, was taken to the hospital with a bad migraine and that he'd stop by Courtney's campus house to get her.
But when Courtney got in the car, Jim told her the full story -- Denise had a stroke.
''It was like someone took the biggest bat they could find and hit me with it everywhere,'' Courtney, a Central Catholic High graduate, said.
The first, and most damaging, stroke was followed by several mini-strokes. Denise couldn't walk, talk or use her arms, but, at times, she was able to acknowledge her family by blinking.
Jim, Courtney, Jimmy, her brother who played in the NFL for the Redskins and Cowboys, and Denise's sisters Debbie and Diane took turns sitting by her side, talking and reading to her, and playing music she liked.
''We would make sure she was never alone,'' Courtney said. ''She couldn't talk to us, but she knew we were there. She would open her eyes wider.''
While her mom was in the hospital for almost two weeks, Courtney, who transferred from
''I knew it was hard for Courtney not to be at basketball,'' Troyan said. ''I was like, 'You be with your family. Don't even worry about basketball.' I just really tried to take basketball off her plate.''
Denise's condition only worsened. After nearly two weeks, she died.
''God needed her more than we needed her,'' Courtney said. ''I take comfort in that and my religion and my spirituality. I trust Him. I didn't fully understand why it didn't work out at
Best friends
Courtney and Denise always were close, but their bond grew stronger in her senior year of high school. By the time her freshman year of college rolled around, she was leaning heavily on her mom. The adjustment to being away from home was harder than expected, and the basketball team at
There were days when Courtney called Denise three or four times a day -- sometimes just to vent and other times to get advice.
''Anything I needed, any type of support, she was there,'' Courtney said. ''She was trying to get me to focus on the positives. Even when I was so upset, she would always tell me to go to bed and think about the things I had in my life and how blessed I was. She was my rock, my best friend. She was just perfect.''
That's the reason Courtney wanted to be so involved in the planning of the viewing and funeral. She helped pick out the casket and the flowers; she wrote and performed the reading at the funeral; she made the collages; she helped design the prayer cards; and she picked out the songs.
''I wanted everything to be perfect and special,'' Courtney said. ''She loved roses. I said, 'Roses will be everywhere.' She loved animals. She would never hurt a fly Â… literally, she would catch it and let it go. So the prayer cards had a picture of a hummingbird with flowers. I wanted to do that. It made me feel a part of her.
''It wasn't until I was done with the collages and had nothing to do that I just sat and bawled because I had to face it. This is real.''
Back to basketball
After sitting out last season because of the NCAA's transfer rule, Molinaro couldn't wait to play in a game this season.
''[Last year], the kids were getting ready for games and I was putting on high heels,'' she said. ''I wanted to, so much, put my sneakers on and pull my hair up and be in a Lehigh jersey.''
When practice opened Friday, Oct. 17, 2008, Molinaro's countdown began. That first game at Stabler Arena was within reach.
That night, though, after just one practice, her life changed forever. After her mom's passing, Molinaro needed time to recover. She missed many practices and played in only two of the Mountain Hawks' first seven games.
But giving up basketball was never an option for Molinaro, who played in 59 games in two years at
''There's no question that I wanted her to continue to play because I know she loves the game,'' Jim Molinaro said. ''I thought it would definitely be good for her to get back to doing things she loved. I would hate for her to lose her mother and basketball. The girls on the team and Sue have been terrific.''
Now that the 6-foot Molinaro, who won four Lehigh Valley Conference, four District 11 and three state titles as a Vikette and was The Morning Call's 2005 player of the year, is back in full swing, she's coming into her own. After averaging just 4.4 minutes and 0.8 points per game in her first five games, she averaged 10 minutes and 3.2 points in her last five.
''There aren't too many post players in our league like her,'' Troyan said. ''She may be a little undersized for a power forward, but I don't know if there are any stronger players at her position.''
Family first
Since her mother's death, Courtney has wanted to do as her mother did. She shops for groceries for Dad, heads over to help clean up the house, does laundry and cooks for her dad.
''One night after practice at 7:30, I was running to the store to get food for my kids' lunches and there's Courtney doing the food shopping for her dad,'' Troyan said. ''She is taking on a lot. She said before Thanksgiving that she didn't know how to cook a Thanksgiving Day turkey, so I told her she could come over one day and cook with me.
''Your heart goes out to her. Her mom ran the household and I know on Courtney's part, there is a sense of responsibility to do all that. To manage everything she's managed in two months shows incredible strength.''
Molinaro said no one asked her to take over her mom's responsibilities. It was simply a natural reflex.
''I know he can go to the grocery store and do the laundry, but I enjoy doing those things,'' she said. ''Family is No. 1 to me. For me, it is no sacrifice to go food shopping instead of hanging out with friends.''
She cooked Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with her aunts, made Christmas cookies and decorated the house.
''She decorated it just like Denise would,'' Jim said. ''I could have closed my eyes and seen Denise.''
A lady's legacy
Courtney won't have her mom at her wedding, nor will she be there when Courtney has her own kids. She could be feeling sorry for herself, but she knows that's not the path her mom would want her to take.
''I am so rich in the blessings that God's given me that it's selfish for me to be upset,'' she said. ''There are times when I wake up and don't want to get out of bed and say, 'Why me?' You can either dwell on it or say I had my moment. I'm going to put my faith in God and go on with my day.''
Molinaro has shed her share of tears, but most of them occur when she is curled up alone in bed or hears a particular song on the radio.
''It's not like you're going to see me on the street crying,'' she said. ''My mother taught me to be a lady, have good character and be as strong as I could be. I don't like to show it a lot of the time because I'm my mom's legacy. I'm representing her now through the way I live. Â… You're living to show people that your mom had the ability to raise wonderful children.
''This is the worst thing that's ever happened in my life, hands down. I would give up the rest of my basketball career to have one more day with her. I'd give it up in a heartbeat, but I can't. So now I have to live my life the way she would want.''
The Mountain Hawks (13-4, 2-0) return to action on Sunday when they head to West Point, N.Y. to take on the Army Black Knights.
This story originally appeared in the Saturday, January 10 edition of The Morning Call. Used with permission.
