From the Future: Dear First-Year Justin...
3/3/2017 10:00:00 AM | Student Athlete
Dear First-Year Justin,
Remember when you first saw the Lehigh Men's soccer team play? You were a senior in high school and as you sat next to your Dad watching Lehigh battle it out with American, you leaned over and said, "Dad, these guys look so big. How am I going to play with them next year?"
Remember how scared you were at that moment sitting in the bleachers? ...Well get used to it. If there is one piece of advice that I have learned over these four years that I can give you, it's that personal growth is not linear. There is not an endpoint that you'll reach where you will be the perfect leader, or perfect at managing stress, or have a clear path to walk every time you are faced with adversity. You'll learn that growth is a continuous process of learning and self-discovery because every day you will face challenges that you have not been faced with before.
Let me tell you, you are going to be in for a ride, and your first major test of character will be the first time you step on campus.
You'll write something like this in your journal during your first season...
"The season is weighing heavy on me, something I did not really expect. Everyone in my dorm is going out and partying while I am stuck going to practice, or traveling, or doing homework. Plus, our overall record is something like 2-13-1, and since I am the center back I take a lot of those losses as my personal fault, even though I guess it wasn't. I find myself missing home a lot too... To the point where I voluntarily wrote my grandmother a letter. I know, weird right?"
Out of the toughest circumstances and the darkest times come some of the best and brightest lessons. You will learn that commitment is not simply showing up to practice every day and expecting results to come. Commitment means paying attention to the small details because, yes...they always matter. You will touch the line on every single 300. You will be at practice early. You will devote time to becoming the best leader you can be. You will do all of this because you will come to learn that it matters.
You are going to write something like this your sophomore year...
"I've been struggling with finding motivation. For school, work, for soccer, for anything really. I feel like I don't really have a purpose. No major, no career plan, no road map. It's like driving in a car with no destination."
Justin, first take a deep breath. The answers to your worries about your major, career, and purpose will come. But not in a way you expect, and not during your sophomore year. Hold tight.... often times you won't immediately know the answer to the 'what', so start with the 'why'. Know that you are passionate about bringing out the best in others, and that you seek to be a great leader so that you can serve those around you. Take your 'why' and work hard to learn as much as you can, and opportunities will fall into place before your eyes.
Fall of junior year, you're going to write something like this…
"It's funny... when the last second ticked off the clock, I almost couldn't believe that we won. I still haven't really wrapped my mind around it. I looked around and saw everyone running in different directions, like they couldn't believe it either. For a second I had one of those feelings where you finish with a long walk or hike and you can finally put your feet up."
Bet you didn't see this coming. You and the boys will increase your season wins from your freshman year by more than 600 percent to win the Patriot League Championship! I think a congratulations will certainly be in order.
And Justin, as good as that ring will feel on your finger, it isn't the real prize. Nor is it the trophy or the hat (although they are pretty dope if I'm being honest). What really matters are the relationships you make and the lessons you learn that gets you to that point.
You'll learn to value diversity in a team. You need a person like Brian Vail, who never hesitates to drop you like a sack of potatoes during practice. And a guy like Ciaran Nugent, who will run the mile and a half fitness test in combat boots…still trying to figure that one out. An Everett Miggins, who is willing to put the team's success ahead of his own agenda. A Danny Gonzalez, who will, without fail, break-dance to 'Sandstorm' in the locker room and make the pregame nerves somewhat bearable. Every player on your team will teach you something about yourself if you take the time to step back and look.
You'll learn the true meaning of the phrase 'for the boys'. A simple phrase that not only means selling out on the field and putting your body on the line for your brothers next to you, but knowing the guy next to you is going to do the same thing. When you work, sacrifice, and suffer not for your personal gain, but for your brothers around you, that's when you will achieve the success you yearn for.
Before you know it, you will be a senior and you will write something like this...
"This is certainly not how this year is supposed to go... It's weird because the talent is there, but we're not clicking. I can't help but feel like it's my fault. I'm supposed to be a senior leader and I really just don't know what to do."
When you get to this point, be gentle with yourself Justin. You have a nurturing leadership personality, which can be a burden at times. There will be times when you and those next to you will fail or fall short of what you had hoped to accomplish… you will take a lot of that blame and put it on your shoulders. Remember that you don't have to struggle alone. When you feel overwhelmed by responsibility and expectations, lean on the people around you. They are the ones who will get you through… please remember to lean on them.
People won't and don't follow you because you are perfect. They will follow you because they trust you, because of your work ethic, because you are capable of setting a standard. That is how you add value to your team. So Justin, the next time you fail and you start to feel the weight on your shoulders, take a deep breath, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward.
Keep on keepin' on,
Senior Justin
